So here is the new problem I have....everyone is leaving! Before you depart for study abroad, they warn you about culture shock. They warn you about reverse culture shock. But they don't warn you that, for those staying 2 semesters, it is going to be impossible to be able to make new friends. That the only alternative to feeling as crappy as I do right now is to shut yourself in your room and not talk to anyone who is going to leave before you. I have said goodbye to 3 people today alone, and it's making me have this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, the same one I had when I first got here with my dad.
As my friend Siiri put it, everyone's lives here is a "Paused" version of the real life-- that is to say, this is a temporary change in their life, so they don't take it as seriously. Once they go back to their home countries, they will hit "Play" and resume their lives as it were. Sooner or later, the study abroad experience will be nothing more than a blip on the radar. I don't understand this mentality. I don't feel like my life is on "Pause" because I'm abroad. On the contrary, I feel like I finally hit "Play" and I am trying out things I have never done before, whether it is Brazilian fight dancing, taking a cab by myself, or introducing myself to new people in the kitchen. Certes (can't remember the English word for that so I'm using it in French), there are moments where I would like nothing more than to go home. But there is a difference between being homesick and wanting to go home. I am of course homesick sometimes, but I don't feel ready to go home yet. I haven't seen everything yet...
En gros (another example of French invading my English), staying 2 semesters is sad and painful, but there is no way I can imagine myself leaving now, when everything is just getting started!
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