envie de voyager

I have a couple of new problems "in this moment" (as my English student likes to say). First of all, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE. I was set on a pre-pharmacy track before coming to France, and my plan had been to find some sort of work in a hospital here to get pre-pharmacy experience. I even got certified as a pharmacy technician last year through night classes. Now, however, I feel like I'm stagnating in these science classes. It could very well be just the fact that I am having trouble with the science courses being in French. It could be the way French university courses are set up in general. While some of my classes at VCU are the same (massive, impersonal lectures), I also have some small classes that are set up to encourage discussion (I actually really hate speaking in front of the class, but I begrudgingly admit that it is rather helpful in understanding a concept). This is not the case in France. The travaux dirigés, which is probably the closest equivalent to recitation, is just a smaller version of the cours magistraux (lecture). That is to say, there is still an impersonal professor who lectures without stopping, but it just happens to be in a smaller context where they can catch you if you nod off ;P

I was all gung-ho for the idea of continuing my studies here after my BS degree, mostly because tuition is around 650€/semester! But if I can't even get engaged in even 3 classes here (which I can't right now), how am I supposed to earn a degree in something here? I don't know whether it's the way the French education system is set up (so impersonal), or the fact that I'm losing interest in biology, or the fact that maybe I am not as good at French as I thought (HIGHLY unlikely....kidding!)

Second problem: I don't know what I'm doing this summer! There is a wedding in Beyrouth that I am attending in July. So I can't just go back to the States only to return to this side of the planet a month later...it is not financially feasible for me. My hopes of finding an internship in Europe this summer seem to be coming to a crashing halt: Insitut Pasteur, which only accepts 4 students out of the UK, Canada, and the US, has said no to me. IFREMER, the marine research insitute across the street from my apartment, only takes PhD holders. My last hope, RISE, is in Germany, and although I have been accepted (for the moment), I don't fancy the idea of moving all of my stuff to Germany for 10 weeks, only to return to France to do my état de lieu (checking out of my apartment). Essentially, I am lost as to what to do.

Ugh.

By the way, I am building up my reputation as the clumsiest girl in the world. Anyone clumsier than me is probably dead from a terrible accident. On Saturday I tried to drive a moped (yeah any American who took a French class probably had this great fantasy of riding a moped everywhere to buy baguettes at the bakery....ok maybe it was just me) and ran it straight into a muddy ditch. I was wearing a helmet, and I jumped off right before it crashed, but SERIOUSLY?! Although, in my defense, I had hit the brakes and the accelerator turned on instead; it's an old scooter that had been used 8 years ago and was recently repaired (better take the tram to buy baguettes instead...). Later, I tried to pull my ID card out of my wallet and cut up my fingers instead. Now it hurts to do dishes (to the joy of my roommate, I did them anyway!). Today, after my Animal Reproduction class, I was trying to leave the amphi (the lecture hall), and literally fell up the stairs. I wanted to pretend that the fall knocked me unconscious to save me the embarassment, but I figured that would be worse. So I stood up, nothing hurt but my dignity, and said "ça va!" Then I booked it out of the room.